Saturday, June 18, 2005

Wait For Him To Call Day

Wait For Him To Call Day!

Today, your net worth is dependent on whether or not he calls. Tell your friends.

“Wow,” all of your friends will say in unison, even the ones who are out of town. “So today’s the big day.”

“Yup,” say. “Today I find out if I’m pretty.”

“Smart too,” your friends will say. “And don’t forget resourceful. And funny.”

One of your friends will tell you that he always thought you were all those things.

Tell him, “Well, I guess today we’ll find out if you were right or wrong.”

Secretly, your friend will hope that he was wrong because he wants to see you get cut down to size.

Say to your friends, “Let’s all join hands.”

You and your friends will join hands and stare silently at the phone, waiting to find out whether you’re pretty or ugly, engaging or dull, sweet-smelling or malodorous.

One of your friends will say, “He hasn’t called yet.”

Another will say, “I bet he does.”

Though no one will give it voice, you and every one of your friends at that exact second will worry that he got trapped under something or that he got shot in the hands and can’t dial. Everyone will want to ask whether it still counts, but everyone will know that the answer is yes. If he doesn’t call, no matter the excuse (and there’s always an excuse) you’re sunk.

Happy Wait For Him To Call Day!